So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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