Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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