If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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