Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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