Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
