I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
