I wanna passion pit in your ass
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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