Say something about gay babies.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
