so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
