yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
