I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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