Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize