so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
