Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
