he told me I talked like a deaf person
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
