don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
