I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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