All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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