Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
