Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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