its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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