His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
