Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
