My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i will never coherently bang her
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
