my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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