Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
