You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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