I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
