do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.