Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.