You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.