You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
