Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
