hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
