A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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