Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
