It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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