The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize