i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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