Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
