Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't turn off my feet"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
