i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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