and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize