the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
