I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
