I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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