Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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