I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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