There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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