I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
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Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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