It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
