I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
