Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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