Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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