i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
