i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
