bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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