I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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