so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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