I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
