that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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