He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A bitchslap is in order.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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