you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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