saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
then he tried to convert me to islam
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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