you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
