Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
