I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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