Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
