I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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