Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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