i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
