I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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