he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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