You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
