I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
